To Win More This Year, Eliminate 'The Entitlement Mentality' - by Ademola H Adigun

At this point last year, a young man was in my box, telling me his truth. He told me in summary that I was a hypocrite. That I do not do what I write. That he wished I were my writings. 

What a way to start the year! I asked him why he felt that way, he said I refused to help him with his dreams.

What was the dream? He had a proposal for a former Vice President. He wanted me to take it to him.  He had when living with me, heard me take a call from the person. He assumed that I was in the position to connect him.

I asked the young man if he planned to return all the funding, from his exiting secondary school to completing his schooling till HND. The numerous school fees I paid. His rent in school, pocket money down to support during his NYSC. All the holidays he spent with me. The job he held now that paid him a stipend. 

I asked if he were related to me. I had taken him in because of his father’s kindness to me. I told him I did not owe him. He had spent three months post NYSC with me doing nothing.  I wanted him to go improve himself.  I volunteered to support a PGD.

In his mind, my not sending his unsolicited proposal, badly written, not well thought through was denying him the chance to make millions. To start off big. He thought me a bigger man than I was.

I understood him. I understood his challenges. I had when he was living with me tried to work on his sense of entitlement and resentment towards the world. Apparently I failed.

He later apologized when his father spoke to him. His father apologized. I was not hurt. I understood where he was. It’s a common expectation from young people or old people that expect people to make them. To  use a magic wand. To find them jobs. To make them rich. All from a sense of entitlement.

If you are in the category of “brother no help me” go change. Go focus on yourself. No one owes you. You owe yourself. Learn gratitude for little favours. Say thanks to all that have contributed to your success. Wish them well.

If you have truths, keep them to yourself. Words when expressed cannot be retracted. Do not damage relationships. You might need them again.

Happy New Year!